I have never felt this depressed for so long.
Suddenly everything just came down.
I'm not too sure why this feeling is coming to me again..
I'm scared.
Scared of this feeling that's eating me alive again.
I don't want it but I don't know how to stop it.

It's so uncomfortable.
I cant believe I had this feeling for years.
I manage to left it for a little while.
Here it is & it came to say hi again and ruin me slowly.

A piece of me gone missing.
I was selfish,
I was afraid,

Because I found joy & it had to leave me.

It played with me,

I saw a hope when I was drowning,
that hand grabbed me up,
opened my eyes,
my smile reflect it.

But it was gone now.

I stood in that cold room while everyone talked,
the noise was loud but my heart was silent.
My mind was racing,
unsure what was this.

But I had nothing but my phone to hold on to.

The cold wind blew my hair and I wondered about the months that had gone by,
the things I have never expected just disappeared.
Who was I and what do I really want.

That joy that seems to be there but the light dimmed lightly,
as it couldn't save itself either,
the wind, the stress blowing it away.

Both candles dying away, trying to help each other light up,
but they couldn't even handle the wind to save themselves.

They had no ying but only yang.

Impossible,
I was told.

Similarity was impossible,
they say the imperfection will never be filled.


But,

Is it even suppose to be fill?


27.11.15