Read the old post written by me. Gosh, it's kinda embarrassing. It's funny how I've change. I decided to delete it but then again it's good to leave it and see I've change and grown up. A reminder that I'm alive and growing. New situations that happened to me. It's rather funny and interesting. This is so weird. Saying your own blog interesting. Well, changed. But not grown up yet?? Not enough? Sigh.. It still rings in my ears about you telling me to grow up..
It hurts. I'll admit it hurts. It did change how I think and act around you. Things just got weirder.. Sometimes hearing your voice makes me want to blast my earphones real loud.
But when I think about the future when I'm leaving you, thinking about how hurt you are yet you still put on a straight face holding all of us together, planning everything.. It just hurts to see you like that. It makes me even worse when I see you becoming like this. I don't know...
I'm trying my best to make you guys glad. to let you guys know that I did make you guys feel like after all the pain it was worth it. I do love you and I do dislike you. But if you ever leave this world it would be hard for me. I'll admit. There's a reason why God put us together.
Sometimes I just hope one day you'll quit thinking and worrying about us.
and think about yourselves. Look at you guys!! Please.
You guys really need to find time for yourselves and forget about us.
I just really wish and hope deep down inside you're happy.
Happy to be here.
Happy to be living.
Happy to be breathing.
Happy to see us.
Happy to see yourself.
Happy to see your partner.
I love you guys.
I don't think I need to write your names to know who you are.
Sincerely,
your buddy/baby/emo one/ rachel.
I wonder do you also feel the same way,
thinking about who will that be,
do you?
I would like to get to know you,
but our time hasn't come yet,
I wonder would it be like a that first sight that would make your heart beat faster
or for some reason it happen after we knew each other for quite some time.
I hope they agree to it,
I wonder how would it feels like,
that smile on our faces and that hug,
that says we made it through.
I wonder how the fights would be,
that will bring us to tears,
and show us the sight we never seen or thought we had.
What's funnier is I'm thinking about this total stranger,
and he doesn't know I'm thinking about him,
neither do I even know how he looks like,
would he be the same race with me
or the one I always had in mind.
But they say "the one you have would be totally different from what you thought",
yet you can still love him.
Love.
This word.
I don't know.
Seems hard to trust,
even if it's real,
we would protect ourselves and deny all we want,
either way we will still get hurt,
so why not take that step and give it a try,
if it's true, there you go.
If not at least you've tried.
Sometimes I see two people who are madly in love,
and I would be thinking how true is this,
who's lying and who's being played?
But then again they look so happy together,
that moment that make you go when will it be my turn?
then you start thinking over it again and go maybe I don't want this.
They always say "when it happens then you'll just know",
is it the same when a mother holds her new born baby?
I don't know.
Still young.
Don't know much,
lots of things I had never experience before,
but I'll know in the future,
and I would explain it better to the one that doesn't know.
To make them assured it's okay just live every minute well,
you'll meet him/her one day,
there's nothing to rush.
Why bother rushing?
Enjoy every moment you wouldn't know when the people around you would leave this earth,
treasure the one you have now then to dream about the one that's not there yet,
you'll get your chance to meet them and treasure them too.
♥
"You need to grow up."
I need to grow up??
Fuuook,I need to grow up.
I need to grow up.
I need to fuuooking grow up.
Time.
You need to learn how to manage ____.
You need to find ____.
You need to learn how to manage ____.
You need to find ____.
Promise.
You need to learn to make _______.
You need to learn how to _______ for people.
You need to learn to make _______.
You need to learn how to _______ for people.
I dreamt that you told me I'm the worst.
You even haunt me in my dreams.
Seriously, give me a break.
Some gif credits to www.dailyloggie.tumblr.com
and tumblr.
call me crazy but I really need this now.
Credits to tumblr <3
Picture from net.
I've never surf or skate in my life,
but it feels like I did before.
Seeing people just holding their boards makes me hype,
heart racing fast,
that adrenaline rush to just surf / skate.
When I see the ocean first thing that came to my mind is to surf,
it's pretty tragic that we don't have waves here.
Plan to get a skateboard this year end holiday and just skate.
Surfing feels like a moment when you can just have time alone and just ride with the wave,
follow along to the wave,
the rhythm of it,
it's like your connected to it,
attached with it,
it's like they have feelings too.
The ocean is extremely beautiful too.
The way the sunlight reflects against it,
words couldn't describe how beautiful God's creation are,
It's just magnificent.
It makes me speechless.
The ocean seems like it could be a second home,
it's like it lures you to go over and play with them.
Surfing might be addictive,
I don't know,
but I know i'll give it a try for sure.
