'The higher your expectation are the worst when disappointment hits you.'

I walk with confident couldn't wait to to see that smile on your face,

I waited for this moment, nervous heart beat, I walked to see it.

Feeling mixed up I took a glance.

How could this be,

not in my expectation,

not in my dreams,

but in my reality is was true.

I walked back to the car with a total change of feelings,

'how was it?' A question asked back.

I wasnt sure what I could say I passed the paper to her,

those worry eyes, she told me she will be back.

Being alone, 

feeling unsure tears start falling.

Speechless, everything in pass started running like an old film,

I told myself I have to stay calm but it didn't work. 

All I got back was criticism disappointment negative thoughts,

that wont bring me comfort but tears,

about to go crazy but I kept holding in.

You dont know how I feel,

you never understand me.

All you do is give me smirks and bad comments,

You never believed in me.

You told me not be to emotional,

but you dont know how hard I tried.

That I practically gone crazy.

I got my confident and told myself is now or never,

I told you I need therapy but all you could do is laugh and told me you think this is a movie?

Feeling ashamed and scared I couldn't say the truth about whats happening to me or what happened to me in the past.

Then it happen again, 'stop being emotional.'

'I tried...' tears start filling and all you could say is 'Lets go home.'

I don't wanna go home,

I wanna leave you all.

I know you're worry for me doing all this for me,

but why cant you understand whats going here?

Why are you running from the truth?

Why must you bring down my confident?

Why must you make me ashamed of myself?

that's not how it should work is it?

I don't need your stupid fucking comments, 

just stfu and let's just be strangers, 

I live my life you live yours. 

I can't take this anymore. 

I'm sorry.