"It used to be a happy, we could laugh and wait for the reply,tell the truth or maybe it was a lie maybe. I wish it didn't happen but it already did. And i can't do anything bout it."
Ruins
It was suppose to be something good. But it became worst and worst. She was pretty excited to see her friend so she can tell her bout it. But in the class.. She heard someone said something which make her go again! It happen again the second time it was all my fault, she thought to herself why? She didn't have any mood at all, she couldn't talk...
Blank
In the class she sat there silently, dreaming, thinking, and thinking. Eavesdropping everyone conversation not looking just listening. Then she thought wow i can't wait what should i say? Hmm... Not long her friend called her to sit beside her and they started chatting then suddenly her friend asked her did you know..(sensored) She was thinking what the?! What did she just say?? no way!! there must be a mistake? a big one! no..no..no..! Her mind was blank like someone just pluck her power plug but she know she must stay cool like nothings wrong.. So she was like wow. Really? Then thinking to herself"Man I'm fake.. But i have no idea what to do."
Game?
When she went back to her sit she looked outside not sure what was she doing all she is wanted to do is to burst into tears but she thinks it's not worth it. So she hold it. and the teacher came in the class they greeted her and sat down when teacher was teaching, she keep telling herself to focus. But it just keep popping out of her mind. She took her pencil up and start scibling her text book didn't have that time to think whether the person sitting beside her thinks she's crazy. She felt so down, she never had this feeling before, but now it happen, is this for real or is this all a joke, a game,a set up? Which? Lost. At that moment she just wanna hug someone so tight and cry out, but then for something like this no. never.
Asleep
Just when she thought this is the last day of school she could have fun and enjoy but it's ruin. Badly. Her friend told her just cry out but she couldn't she was still stunt not awake yet, she couldn't react at that moment, she just kept silent.
Flow
In the bus she was alone everything appeared in her mind, everything. As it appeared she hold on her tears, when she put her head down it flowed like a opened tap, trying to catch her breath, and she tell herself no! You can't to this! So she close her eyes and cool down and she was fine again.
Deeper
When she reach home she smiled to her sis, and her sis went upstairs. She walk slowly and catch her breath and it flow again, she sat on the floor, she didn't care about anything but to let it all out. She went upstairs and go to the room and pick up the guitar and started playing she played hosanna by hill song she suddenly forgotten the cords she was stunt there and cried again as her tears drop to the guitar and to her paper. She went to her sister as her sister turned to her head to see her she ask her you're ok?! All she did was smile and cried.
Dead
She's still not stable still quiet. She used to just see the top of the screen of that window but now she always scroll down and stare and wait. She made a mistake everything was all a mistake misunderstanding. Just when she thought "wow. But now it's gone, still shock thinking what happen just now? Was i dreaming?" Lied. Cheated. Regret...

Anger wouldn't solved any shit, it's not necessary. It's just.. It won't bring you anywhere. Neither will you. LONG PATIENTS AND LONG SUFFERING WITH JOY. Hmm.. good point. What happen? What happen to the Rachel which shut her mouth and walk away in any situation and escape from those unnecessary arguing stuff? Is it the age? Growing up? Or being influence by others? I hope not.. Weak?? Oh yes weak, or is it i couldn't take it anymore? Keeping everything to myself, smile and pretend you don't know anything. Since when primary school i faced many stuff and got used to it, and i used to think that i should thank them for whatever they did cause if wasn't for them i can't accept what people say. But i think it's a little too much right now, but i guess i just have to be strong enough.
Maybe it was because of just now, sitting in the bus thinking bout many things and feeling stupid on what i did, or was i thinking too much? Oh rachel stop doubting! I guess i was always confues by many things. I'm just a mess up girl.. Arg! Can someone cheer me up? No one?? Or there is?... DUMB. Oh i should stop saying bad things bout myself. Hey rachel someone say you look good right? Whoa.. stop there dun make me hate myself! ..... OK maybe we will try a new way.. like thankyou!
So many things right now... So rachel are you in love? "World Talking".... No bad word no bad word.. I was saying.. Are you crazy?! It's getting a little bit too far miss! Oops.. can't i ask? Can't face the truth? So who that? fine. Answer: God! haha ^^ .. human la~ nah.. tak ada la~Even if i do i will stop that from happening ^^. So there's someone la~ Nah.. My sis told me not to get into a relationship. Ah~ like i didn't know that... I have my goal! When i'm 17 or 18 only i will , even if anyone ask me i'm not that dumb to say yes my love! Despo me-r? I'll go like.. Ok. You wait for me when i'm 17 or 18 ^^ If that fella is gone with someone too bad la~ By that time i can say Thankyou LORD THANKYOU JESUS! at least i know his not into the serious relationship. I'm getting a little too far isn't it? Opps!
But i really feel better. (take a deep breath) ah~ so good ^^
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"Family"
Edward(me)-Bella(regina)
Alice(fang)---Jasper(regina)
Carlisle(Xin pin)--Esme(forgot>.<)
Emmett(Ah boy)-Rosalie(?)
Werewolf

Sam(Old Man)-Emily(me)
Jacob(me)
Embry, Quil..
Human
Charlie(old man)
renee(fang)
So not the right time to write list not with me...
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This week got so many activities! Sunday go girafang house to do cupcake. Tuesday girafang come to my house and do cupcake. Thursday go Regina's house for fun!. Friday school anniversary and tug of war competition. Saturday still having the school anniversary and tug of war final!
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First Time
It's a sunday. I went to church to praise God! Then go to Fang house to do cupcake. It's my first time while i was trying to put the mixture into the paper cup, omg it's so exciting haha. While i was doing fang mum was standing beside seeing me do, whoo! I had so much fun there i must say. I left my msn on and do my thing. Me and fang was chatting in the room but we were suppose to go and bathe tehee. Then when i went down stairs there was a message from my friend saying Goodnite. And i was like what? Somethings wrong he doesn't sleep that early... And i focus my eyes on the time and it was 11.58. Wow. Time flies. So i went to bathe and chat and of course Charge my battery(brain). Till the next morning it's green!(kinda)
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Why? When Girafang came to my house we did lots of things then i went on msn and boom! Something bad happen Which made my mind pop out so many question and it all starts with why? Why did this happen why why why why?? It's so weird. And i know is to tell the truth cause this happen to me before and right now it happen to my friend. Like they say the truth with set you free haha. But gotta wait for the right time. Like always we had fun!

Hot!
The next day we woke up and get ready to school so blur... But it's ok. We went to the basketball side to to bread and sell sell sell!! Cause my class did this "Final Showdown " thing. Fun Fun. Hot Hot. Haaha. Mostly peeps came but pass by, but after that we sell finish! Then at night i went with my dad to this tra class thing to help i'm like the "photographer" haha~ wah ceh~
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Thursday Woke up in the morning to get ready to go to Regina house to play.... We did this family tree thing. Fun! Dun feel like writing the list now. Next time... We went to swim and many more!
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Got no3 for the tug of war. happy for that. at least i have something to feel happy about. ha.. lalala~~ whee! opps! going crazy.. After we're done we went to cheer for Jm2(8) we were all shouting like mad. Then the guy have to use the mic to warn us to not go in the field or they will stop the game, so we went back a little and they start the game and we shout shout shout!!!! And boom! Jm2(8) won no. 1! Happy for all of you!
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Touch
Today it's a sunday.
Woke up still feeling moody cause of something. Won't say, anyway in the car there was this song which my sis download and we played it in the car the name is "you're not alone by meredith andrews" it really related to me. Teared a little of course my sis didn't notice anything. When we reach church we praise God like usual then at the ending the pastor say something and is like God speak to me which make me tear.. And it say something like let it go and all.. Cried like mad really felt Gods present. And feel so much better right now!! THANK YOU LORD THANK YOU JESUS!Stop here.

The beauty of things is by seeing them close up that way it looks different and beautiful.