Done. It is done. I've done it. Not sure why. But I just felt like it. What have the world become? I wonder. And all you could say is nothing what. But It's a relieved. I feel.. nah I can't say I feel good. I feel rather.. Empty? I want to change it-everything. I want to go back to how it was. When i didn't know you that well. I should have continue to avoid you but I choose not to. Now this is what that have become. You knew about it all along. We both played dumb. Like I didn't know that you know. So did you. I told myself to stay away cause if I don't , I know what will happen next. But I hold on a hope. You were good to me. Why did you? Is it cause of that same statement? About hurt? Ya this is worst. I'm not blaming you I just want to know why. Or did I got it right? It gave me hope. I thought you should avoid me to make sure things won't be.. Ya you know. But you're always thinking about what if it hurts me. Now for sure. But before that I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad. And I know I wouldn't look for you. I'm sure there will be a full stop there. But it's done. It's too late to say anything else....
Sometimes I wonder why is it you. Why? You're nobody. There's only one thing in my list that you're in. And thats the most important one. But ya most of it I told you already since you asked. But that wasn't really the reason why. You asked me why , I wanted to just tell you I just do. Must we have reason to it? Why do you wanna know about that or do you always ask people when they tell you about it? I don't really know you. But yet I felt so comfortable to tell you about how I felt. I just had the courage to do that. I even have the courage to tell you face to face. But it didn't happen. Maybe I shouldn't anyway. Those words aren't suppose to be used just cause I had the courage.
I told you about it. And I was waiting for you to tell me sorry I don't the way you do. But you didn't. You told something I never thought you would. But someone told me everyone uses that phrase. So ya. I see. But I wasn't satisfied. It wasn't hurting enough. I want you to hurt me even more. I want that. But I wouldn't force you too. The way you answered me I was like duh~ i know that. I didn't want us to be something. I just want to tell you how I felt. I thought you would reply those four words. But you gave me five. Is just that there's still lots of question marks in my head.
I felt it before. Just like... But maybe this time I was wrong. Maybe I wasn't awake. I was blurred by my sense. There are even better chances for me but I didn't take it. My friends ask me why. But there's no answer. I just didn't have feelings for them. But they were even better. But I didn't felt safe when I was with them. I don't know.
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