I thought I wouldn't. I thought I was just thinking too much. Way too much. But as time pass, I know the answers. But I never wanted to accept it. Or maybe I just can't believe it. Things was just too fast. I didn't like the fact that I was like this-gross. To me it is. It's not me. But it's like i had so much in my mind. Insane I thought. But every time it would pass my mind. But I just focus on the other. I guess I was just thinking to much. Probably was the hairstyle that reminded me of something. And the "kindness". I didn't know. I didn't feel reluctant too. In fact I wanted too. And I did. I remembered the joy the awkward and the shyness. At that time i didn't really cared. What I cared was I wasn't please about what that happen. I end up holding this hope every time. I waited. It happen. But it end so fast.

Once it was gone. I didn't cared. I just feels weird never had that type of feeling before. I laugh to myself bout it. It was. Stupid. Whatever. Not long. It came. I didn't expect it at all. Never did. But I took it casually. Normal. There it goes again. Holding that hope again. I kinda like that whole feeling. Waiting for something. At least there's something for me to wait on. I guess what attracted me was the little common things. Things was slow and fast. I don't know which. It was both. I realize something. And I didn't tell cause I was embarrass to tell. It was a secret only me and God knew. Well it was only me. But well you can't hide things from God for sure.

Something happen. I never thought it would. It just came. I just laugh over it. Then I thought to myself. Faker. But I just lied. That laugh covered everything. So there was it. It was cleared removed. After that another thing came by. It make me go I knew it. Oh no. Why. Great I shall keep silent. Time pass by and I realize it's time. I spit it out. No way. I never thought it would be true. Yeah I know don't ask me why I thought to myself. But things got a little weird when someone else knew about it. I started to think a lot. A lot. I used my brain more than before. For unnecessary things. But I guess that's what keeps me alert. Not asleep. It also show how funny we can be sometimes.

As time pass I only stick to one. I trusted more. I guess cause to relationship was longer. But still trusted the other one though. I guess secrets is what keeps people closer. Things was still the same. There were up and downs. Confuse times. Elated times. Sad times. I was always holding back. Okay fine. I was avoiding. But I wasn't the only one.

I've stop that already. But I still waited. It's a rule I gave myself. I won't be the first. It's been quite long already. And I've learn. To go with the flow. That's what nic says. So I followed. Wow. Things turn out good. I guess you also have to not expect things too. So when it goes bad. YOu'er not so dissapointed. When it goes well. You will not only feel good but great.