ha.


Really funny. ha. ha. ha. What's so funny? Um.. I don't really know actually. Things just really wouldn't stop. How many times I almost have a heart attack. Wonder how's my blood pressure. My life just got a little more exciting. Interesting. In Chinese they call it 刺激. Good to bad. Bad to good. To normal. Sometimes we just let things pass us by. And regret after that. But it's done. You can't turn back by flipping to that chapter of your life. Thats a pity. Really. If I could I probably flipped it a thousand times. And of course to the good parts too. Like rewinding an old tape. But thats just my imaginations..

One thing I can't change about myself is thinking too much. Practically way too much. But I was mostly right. Okay so it came and went. Whats next? Wait? Or let it go. Um.. I rather not. So many things. Wow. Something just struck my mind. Yea Thats must be nice good awesome amazing lovely. I want it. I wanna know will it be that great. Or maybe this is more than enough..
I know one day I will do it. One day. My pride will be gone. I will lose all my sense. I will laugh just to cover it. I will laugh for how stupid I was. I will laugh cause of how stupid you are. And I will just look idiotic. Will you laugh along with me? If you don't. I gotta put a big smile cause it's over. It's out. Relief. Then I'll run. Unless you ask me to stay. Unless you have something to say. But I don't think you do..
Never felt like this before. Weird. Maybe this is who I am. Maybe this is me. But I don't like it. My friends tells me Rach it's just so not you. Agreed. But why am I acting like this? I don't know. I'm just trying to show how I feel. Um i guess. But I think I showed too much. I'm gonna hold back. I will. That's enough. Okay maybe just give me two more days. Just two.
It's nice if it was that some one special. But it's not. Sorry about that yae? =) ( But I don't care.too bad. You just don't have that luck) really..