dumdumdum the drums go dumdumdum..


It's.. Oh Saturday. Ha. I'm well.. Sitting front of the computer. Obviously. Ha. Things been well.. Dull.. Boring. Sucks. Well, only one thing for sure I'm awake from it. I'm really awake from it. What was thinking? ha. Anyways.. It's over. :(:) ha. Now I feel like how he feels, ______. Yup, that's the word. I feel dead. Gloomy. For no reason. I thought I should happy. Ha. Well, i guess not.


Mum always say she's a useless mother. Always blaming herself. Well, she don't that so often anymore. But for sure I know she's wrong. I'm the useless one. Ha. I failed being good child. I always think as long you show them and give love that would enough. But of course which parent wouldn't wanna see their child having good grades good result. Flying colors. Ya those they're bullshit to me. What does those number or grades means huh? Are they really that smart? Ha for sure they have good memory. Ya I know I sound like an idiot. You're probably thinking "oh gosh this child she doesn't know what she's saying?" or maybe "sigh.. Rachel what are you thinking eh? " blablablablabala... You know just let me say what want, this my blog you a*#.... never mind will skip that.. Sigh.. Sorry mum, I know it's been years since I brought back good results for you guys. Um.. How long was that.. I can't even do the math.. Oh ya 7 years ago ha. That's way shit. I'm sorry. I failed. But what the use saying it's not like I'm going change right? Ha. Hate me. Ha I bet you can't do that. I'm a child of Bs. Child who make your head dizzy. A child who never say good things. Well hey that's just me that my way joking I'm sure you that. I'm GL and sarcastic. Oh yeah~ Like it babay~ Laugh... Laugh Laugh just laugh you idiot. Whoever you are.

I'm not good at lot things. I'm just average. I went for running competition and never got back a medal. My guitar skills is not going anywhere. My result. Let's skip that. What else.. OH sorry dad i know you told me to always good things. Okay fine I'm amazing. I'm beautiful. I'm smart. I'm talented. Ha. oops. I just lied. I just sinned. Sorry. Forgive me? haahahahaha.. I'm sick in the head. Shot me ha. No I don't mean it. Just a joke. Shut up..
Ahh.. I feel so better now. Signing off! Bye peeps. Have a great weekend. I know you will ;)

4:21 AM 0 PERMALINK

Blablabla


Sometimes you think you got it right but nah. You didn't. Sometimes you just go over the limits. too much confidence. You didn't control. Sometimes you think he wouldn't notice. But you can be wrong at times. Maybe you're back to round one again. Everything is back to round one. Hmm..That's pretty bad eh? Ha. sometimes you just have to listen to that little voice inside of you or you might make things happen which you didn't want to. But who is to blame? No one. But you. You could avoid it but you choose not too. Greedy. Would be the word. You wanted more thats why. But it's okay just learn from you mistakes. Though you're just a small role in it. But come to think about it it's pretty big. You realize that this morning already. It's okay even he didn't realize that.But he will soon. He's just slow. Ha. Now, make him realize. That's all I have to say ;)

2:38 AM 0 PERMALINK

Change is hard? hmm..


Ah.. It's a different Sunday for me. Didn't have that smile on my face when I woke up. The feeling that makes you go "Oh well.. Looks like a I fell asleep again ha." Miss it a lot. Everything. How lame can _ get sometimes. Just think you probably think when would this end. But I was selfish just wanna let it go on, only way to have that real sincere smile on my face. Going to school with joy. But when you reach school. Things are different. I wonder why. But you have friends around you to make you forget about it and just go bananas!

Hmm.. It's a almost everyday thing i realize. But i stopped. I guess it's time to stop all this. I mean I forgot my limits. I gotta stop. So I did. But sometimes just couldn't control. All of the sudden when you think you got it right, end up you're wrong. Now that's just weird. Hmm... But thank god i wasn't as crazy as before. I've change. I like that. Feel like myself again.

4:51 AM 0 PERMALINK

Blabla and blabla






sHabai. everyone is laughing when I say that. Can't help it I just cannot not pronounce it without the whole h thing kae? ha.
Few weeks ago brought guitar to school stayed back to play. Isaac and Regin. 3 of us. Had a fun time. When we're almost going off. We chat for a while. Then they were joking bout the "sHabai" word again. so I just played along. Ya and drop isaac's water bottle. Ya real shabai.
-Met. Turn. Change. Speechless.-
Tuesday. GTG came to my house. Fun great time. Very exhausting. Arg. Slept at 12.30am. Woke up at 2.30am.Till the whole day. Such sacrifice for yimai. Ha. Felt like a zombie the whole day. And cause of something else too. Ouch. That's the word.

Wednesday. Slept at 1 something. Woke up at 5.30am. Arg. Zombie feeling again. Worst. Trying to keep myself awake. Plus what happen just couldn't get over it. I didn't talk much. Just wanted to sit down quietly and day dream. And forget about everything.

Thursday. same thing.

Friday. Slept at 1 again. Arg. studied for my chinese. I know how to do. But I cannot remember. fed up with myself. arg. Anyway fell asleep on pmr class. Couldn't wake up.
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Everything just sucks every shitty things. Argh. Can't believe it. Why? Kay i know it's back to me again. My fault. Yea. I can't deny that. But I just.. Argh... But you didn't have to do that at all seriously.
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Hmm... Took you so long to finally do that. ha. Yae. Things are all back to normal After a few weeks. Thank God. =)=) .. But yes. I know. I know. Noted. I know my limits. ;) Thanks guys for being there for me love ya all. :)
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Had an enjoyment time on monday eveything is just GOOD! haha. We should go and take photo together again guys! You guys just make me look like an idoit. =( especially Isaac. Arg.. haah..
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And some updates:1.Went for planetshakers concert! lml!
2.Took photos for society stuff. Model: My sis-Shannon.


4:44 AM 0 PERMALINK

Nothing.

I promise kaiwen just one more month. And I will try to let go everything. But the thought of it hurts me. I don't want to let this go. After what I been through. No. I can't. But I will try. We were just discussing about why I have feelings for you. I still haven't got the answer. Kaiwen say that's just one "magical" thing about love. Agree. You just like that person. No reason to it. It just happens. Well for you, you got nothing for me to like about. But I just did. You're just.. Nothing.

1:12 AM 0 PERMALINK

★


Unpredictable. It made me smile. I was glad. Maybe it will remain just like this. But it's enough for me. Though I want more. But it's okay. I won't ask much. But it's time to hold back. I don't want to always be the one. Not right. It's your turn. Nah. That won't happen. That was just the pass. I don't think you will now. I'm the one thinking of someone who won't think of me. We don't think or feel the same. But thanks. It made my day. I feel better now. I ain't moving till you do. So I guess I will just remain here★

5:47 AM 0 PERMALINK

If it doesn't break your heart, it's not enough. yet.


Tomorrow is parent day. Darn. That's bad rite. Argh. Sad case. No idea what's gonna happen though. Hope my mum won't faint and fall from her sit. Ha.
No meaning to it. I didn't want to.. I don't know why. Maybe I was waiting for you to do it first. But you didn't. So I just held back. Nothing wrong with that. But I always regret when I walk away. But it's done. I miss everything. I hate this..

4:31 AM 0 PERMALINK