I bought a novel called Linger. It's the second book. The first one is called Shiver. For some reason it just caught my eye. Once you read it, you wouldn't stop. It was written in a form where you would be in another world. Their world. Everything around you just seems to be invincible. the noise around you seems to gone down. It's like time just stops.

Sam is the main guy in the story, but the more I read I tend to like Cole better. Something about his character seems attractive ha. But oh well, it's just a story of people who doesn't exist. The way he was describe, his face, just seem too perfect to imagine ha.. Grace is the main character, I can't really link to her the way I could link to Isabel. As in when she describe her feeling, I could imagine it but not feel it, for Isabel I could. It's like I could feel it. My eyebrows would go closer together, so am I to my book, when I read I wouldn't notice till I was back to reality.. It's pretty interesting.. Ha..

After reading they way the describe. The way they say about their thoughts, I seem to start making words in my head. Which felt more like lyrics. Ha. I tend to talk to myself through my thoughts. Seems Kinda insane? But hey at least I'm saying it out loud. Ha..

School reopen this week. It's my 4th day, since my holiday. It sort of rhymes ha.

Chinese New Year was pretty awesome. I wore a dress. Ha. Yes a dress. NO kidding. Just to let you confirm. I'll say it again. I wore a dress for CNY this year. Ha. I kinda regretted it because I spent more cash than I should. And I'm studying accounts. Wow. How smart can I get? Ha. and I dint have any extra for new year shoe. Ish. Thank god CNY is held in my house haha.. Over all it was fun and enjoyable. And we had crab for supper! *Gasps* Awesome. awesome. I love crab. Ha. Like I was saying.. we ate Indian food on our first day of CNY kinda weird though haha.. And this year 2011 we celebrate with our new member in our family. Della. She's so adorable. I just wanna pinch her face so badly haha.. She's a beauty.

Time seems to pass so fast that week, didn't like that fact. Ha.

On Saturday, I washed my school shoe. Ya I'm serious. Ha. It's like a big miracle! ha.. But I still don't like it, it's white. white. Ish. Ha.. On that same day, I went to Uriah's house for CNY party, one word to describe- Awkward. Well, meeting Uriah and Melvin wasn't as awkward than meeting praveen. I guess because it's been 4, 5 years since we met? Ha. At the dinner table was even weirder haha. Well, I perform one song for them. Sugar town. My voice was bad. *sobs* shocking that I actually have the guts to sing it haha..



Today.
Thursday.
I can't wait for saturday.
Can time get any faster?
It feels like it's going to be awesome.

I don't know why but I just feel attach to you no matter what. I really miss you. It sounds kinda sick but true. I never like you in that way. But I always have this protective feeling over you. But I know everything is in the past now. Yet I keep wishing that I can get everything back.

I don't know why but the things you do for me seems to always come into my head. All the things we chat. All the stupid silly conversation. Come to think about it, it's really funny that I actually went crazy with you and be stupid. Ha. But I know I can't get it back anymore. Now all it's left is a beautiful yet painful memories.

Will I get over it? I have no idea. I'm scared. I don't know what you think of me right now. Sometimes I wish you would tell me but I guess it's impossible? Whenever my stomach feels unwell, it always reminds me about you, about what you did for me. I don't think anyone would do that for me now. Right now I just gotta wait till that weird unwell feeling to fade. I delete all the message not only yours but everyones'. Because I have to sell my phone. But even though it's gone, I still remember it clearly in my head.

I don't know why I treat you so different from others. At the start I did that because I was afraid to hurt you, but as time pass I got used to you and treated you the way I feel like but not because of any other things. Sometimes I think to myself what the heck am I doing? But I never stop what I was doing, till I start to realize I shouldn't. I'm just too selfish. That's why I told you everything. I know for sure I did hurt you though you say it's okay and put a smiley. Whenever I see that smiley I tend to think of you, I guess because you're the one who always puts that type.

After everything I said, you gave me a message that really made me regret what I did. But I know what I did was right. At that moment it was like a cut in my heart but right now all it's left is a scar. But yet it's like you still have a place in my heart. Whenever I know about your news and stuff, I tend to feel jealous and protective, but I can't do anything. Because it's your choice and at the start it was my choice to drew a line. So I guess right now I won't be able to get back all the things we had but what's the point getting it back when it would be a cycle again? So I guess everything will have it's ending. And there is no happy ending bacause This is reality.

Randomly putting pictures..

Okay I gotta admit it's been awhile since a last blog. But feels like way too long. Felt like some post are missing. Just realize I never blog since Dec. It's like way too long hahaha.. Well, I was busy since 1st of Dec. Because went for filming. :D :D tehee.. Very glad about it. Though it's just a very small role. But I have learn new things not only just about the acting things. ;) so anyway,

Always dream and wondered how acting would be like. Well, last year I have experience it. It was tired. haha. exhausting, especially the waiting time. haha.. Well, I didn't just learn and know about how filming things are. But others too.
Since now I know how acting are, my dad told me now you know how acting is huh? tiring eh? Yup I gotta agree to that, but I don't mind going for others guess cause the interest is there? yup partly.

This year. New start. Everything new. Of course keep the good ones and make it even better. Ha.
2011. Class S1C3. No.22. Ha. Sitting beside limin. Thank God for her, I don't feel so bored any more. Awesomeness. Haha. We would just laugh non stop. It made my day in class more interesting not so bored anymore. Never know maybe by end of this year I would slim down after all the laughing haha. Finger cross!

Speechless suddenly. Mind blank. Ha. Don't really have the mood to write. But this post I kept saving and keeping it in the draft. I wanna make sure I post it today.

Well, just hope this year would be a good awesome year. Change. I will make it happen.

-I did't feel sad or disappointed. Till now I still think you're just lying. Maybe you just don't think you should. What's holding you back? Fear? I don't know do you know. But I still do. I really do. But I don't know do you realize that. The things you say makes me speechless. But I'm still cool inside out. I don't know why I did it. But I think maybe I'm just not afraid of anything anymore. I just do what I want. Not thinking what will happen next. Yea I do regret a little. But it turn out fine after that. I just don't think this would happen. I just think everything is just a lie. Maybe you're just looking for what you need. You're still searching for it. You still haven't found it. But it's just here. But you know just by thinking about it again makes it feel so real at the same time. So what's next?-

I need A holiday. Like a real one.
Where I can pack my bags and go.
I'm tired of here.
Tired of staying home. Playing the guitar. Going online. Going to air condition places. Going for movies.
I need something new. I'm sick and tired. I can't laugh. Cause I'm alone.
I want to go somewhere fresh and new.
I can't wait to use my new camera.
Let's go somewhere.
Who's with me?
But I don't think there's anywhere I can go without enough cash.
I'm bored. To the core.
I'm weak. I thought I was strong. What happen?
I need help. Drugs? Nah just kidding. Not that dumb.
I wanna smell the fresh air on the other side of the earth.
I need to keep myself busy and stop thinking of what if. But make it happen.
I knew I sense something wrong. Ha. Anyway. My dreams are near.
There stuff that happen that makes me wanna quit.
But I'm sure I can do it. I don't easily give up.
So watch me. Let the game begin. Regin get ready. Wear your helmet. We're off.
♥Rachel.

My body is aching but I got the mood to type things out so yup...

Ahem(Clearing throat)

Regin. Type yours soon. Muaks.

Isaac: Just by giving you tissue we became such close friends. How did it happen? act熟 rite? haha.. You next year different stream with me already. good luck. thank you for always being there when I need you :) Sorry sometimes I treat you quite rude. But you sometimes really irritating! hahah.. But After that always forgive you haha.. I forgot to pass you your letter till now. Will pass it to you tomorrow. Be happy and Jia you :)

Jacky!: Hey! haha.. Knew you since I was 8! haha.. I don't really remember what we did or talk but I remember we were pretty close but then after that we didnt talk till last year. When we went back to foon yew 2. Children day, haha remember the puppy? tehee.. then we didn't talk again till this year. Suddenly went outing together. then our switch kinda on already. We watch resident evil kept talking in the cinema laughing like crazy ppl. Aft that do some idiotic video haha.. I like that day a lot :) when PMR time we started practicing "kiss me" song with regin. vocal+guitar+beatbox. wow. haha.. Going to meet up on Dec rite? Video our song and on our switch yae? tehee.. Oovoo!! haha.. First time we all keep laughing so weird webcaming after tat we got used to it. haha.. Anyway good luck next year! Hope you will have pretty teeth soon! ;)

Ningling: Hey most of the stuff all written in that letter already. You're studying accounts too right? :):) hehe.. If there's any church event I will call you for sure;) haha.. We might not be close but when we meet each other we starting talking bout our stuff wow haha.. I will remember all this. GTG leader. acha acha fighting! :):)

ShengQ: Hey man.. things are weird right now. Maybe it was me? I'm really sorry. I don't know why am I apologizing but I just felt like I need too. We used to text a lot. But that day when I saw you, I felt like we're strangers again. Like back to last year. You just looked at the floor and told me to give way. I don't know what happen. Kay maybe after that thing. But yea.. To be honest I'm not liking it. It's like WTF? But if this is your decision I will respect it. Thank you. That's all I can say. For everything. Your letter. I will keep it. You do have a very nice writing to be honest always wanted to tell you that. Ha. Keep it up I know you can do it. You're smart. I will give you the fried rice next year. I won't break my promise. So I'll see you soon? :)

ShengJ: YO lil' bro keep it up I know you can do it. :):) Hope your english will improve. Don't just say how smart and good you are but I wanna see some action yae? Hopefully when I see you again you will be daring enough to speak english with me. lols.. Like I said yesterday hope you will be even cute, handsome and MATURE SOon. Haha.. Cheers! ;D

Kaiwen: Iron man!! haha I will never forgot that look on your face when you were watching movie and saw scarlett johansson (iron man girl) lols.. tak boleh tahan haha.. Haiyo next year sure very weird without you. haha.. Though sometime you can be one real irritating person haha.. You ah must update me okay? haha.. That time I was so bored I could die thanks for calling to chat lols.. tehee.. suddenly thought of something hehe.. Can't say here hehe.. Anyway go out soon yae? haha.. Im gonna make sure your switch must on!! tehee.. All the digi thing and don't know what receipt you cut out I kept all and stick in my book :) tehee. They can be rubbish to people but not for me :) tehee learn your guitar soon ah! :P

Ivan: Oi Navi tehee.. Smile more tehee.. Going to on your switch soon! :P (-_^) haha.. Your voice change le haha.. Wohoo someone gonna be star soon eh? :O haha.. You can do it tehee.. You support me, I support you :) How we know each other? umm.. I don't really remember @@ umm.. Just talk right? haha.. That day watch that horror movie you didn't succeed to scare me haha.. Too bad :P haha.. Go out soon yae? Four of us again ;) tehee.. Umm. see when bah.. Got mission okay? Nail polish!! lols... Oi you 传染 to me liao :( haha.. Neh mind lah hehe.. Few days later should be healthy again hehe.. Anway good luck and always remember to pray! :):)

Ah boy: Grow taller! Meet any new girl before you do anything must tell mummy okay. It's not a request it's an order hehe.. Take care okay. Will buy you chocolate milk soon yae? :) I'll find your dad soon. Give me few more years. lols.. Study hard kay! Don't have short temper not good. Anything just text me :)