We cant get our mind to rest.
All you do is think and think and drive yourself crazy.
Then you think that everything was just a waste of time.
You left the room before you close the door you saw the last of it, what remain.
Everything starts flowing through your mind and heart,
all the past played like a movie.
And you got back in.
When will I leave that farking room?
Waiting for answers so many questions left unanswered,
Finally,
the day has come when everything was answered, placed right in front of you.
Now you're a joke.
Everything was a joke.

Good bye.

They say we all have secrets,
those that we can share to the one we trust,
and those that we keep to ourselves.
Sometimes we tend to tell everything to the one we trust.
But I guess it's not something we should do all the time.
It shows how we really are,
reviling your secret is like peeling your shell away bit by bit,
until you're like completely naked.

Standing there feeling insecure,
unsure about what they think of you.
What lies beneath their mind.
We can trust people but maybe we should always keep a distance.

Secrets are like this layer and layer of protection.
Keeping us safe and warm.
Keeping things to yourself can be nice.
Holding it in, a secret where no one in this world knows except you.
Only God knows.

Not everyone can keep a secret.
Some choose to tell how they feel and think.
They can't hold it together,
but there's nothing wrong with that.

For me,
I like to keep things.
It makes me better and happier that way.
Smiling to myself and get ready for a brand new day.

Some say I'm weird.
But it's okay it's better to be weird than normal.
Normal is kinda boring, no?

I'll leave that for you to answer.

Things changes.
People changes.
We grow up.

We adjust to each other life style.
We become use to each other.
We invite and accept new comers in our life.
But sometimes new comers will never be the same as the one we used to have.
But we try to love them when the ones you love, loves them.
That's how we naturally react.

Though we will be protective like a lion protecting it's food.
We will track you down like a wolf.
Aft all this is our territory.
If you ever do anything to them, We'll hunt you down.
But sometimes we can't do tat when we realize our enemy is our pack lover.

When We hurt our enemy we would also hurt our love ones.
But I'll terrify you with my stare and hurt you in your dreams.
Those decision we make.
Those silly mistakes.
Love makes us blind.
Its hard to be thorn apart between lover and friends.

But i tell you, in the end, the pack will be here for you.
But I'll watch you suffer,
and when i think you're about to only have your last breath I'll help you.
Aft all you should feel that pain before i forgive you.
But i tell you,
the reason I'll give in is because the pack will be there to convince me and i love them.
All of them, nothing will step in the way.
I'll stand up for them.
I won't put my head down like a dog when he holds a stick.
Instead I'll be like a wolf, stepping in front and let him know if he can't accept this he should leave.

The things we've gone through is it really worth it to let a newcomer change us?
But all i can say is damage is done.
I'll send you vision of the past to let you know you've got it wrong.
You can patch it up but its not the same anymore.

Its like taking a cloth to cover the hole made on the blanket,
You can't see it but beneath it there's still a hole in there.


Things constantly are changing we just gotta accept and adjust to it.


This is life.

I don't know what we have.
I don't know what we are.
I don't know what we had.
I don't know what we were doing.
I don't know what are we waiting for.

I don't know what am I waiting for.
I don't know what am I trying to do.
I don't know what am I holding on for.

I don't know what the heck are you thinking.
I don't know what the heck we had suppose to mean.
I don't know what the heck was this a misunderstanding.
I don't know what the heck you were looking at.
I don't know what the heck I felt but it felt real, even from the start.

But,
I know I can't get enough.
I know I'm addicted.
I know I'm crazy.
I know I'm living on a thin glass, don't break it.
I know I'm living on that tiny hope.
I know I want you.
I know I keep making silly mistake.
I know I keep freaking out.
I know I become stupid when you're around, mind blank.
I know I become selfless.
I know I'm really into you.

I know you might know.
I know you might avoid.
I know you might want it too.
I know you might think I'm annoying.
I know you might be clueless.
I know you might be shy.
I know you might feel disgusted.
I know you might not know.

Either way,
I know you're not who they say you are.
I'm holding on to this hope because I truly believe in it. 

I don't know why I feel even stress on this two weeks of holiday.
Feel so fark up.
I thought things are good,
but why am I feeling like this?
I feel so confuse about everything.
I just wanna go on a holiday.
For God sake it is a holiday!
Don't I get to go to a get away?
I want to go to the freakin' beach!
I wanna hear the waves and feel the sand.

Fark.
I really wanna go somewhere.

I'm so scared.
I'm scared of the future.
I'm scared of facing everything.
I'm scared that I'm thinking too much.
I'm scared that you would hate me.
I'm scared that you would blame me.
I'm scared that it won't heal.
I'm scared that I would lose you.
I'm scared of losing those hope.
I'm scared that I won't have anything to look forward to anymore,
I'm scared of giving up.

The thought of it makes me shiver inside out.


I hope you don't blame me for everything.
Everything will be fine right?
Please tell me it will.
Hey would you?


I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for thinking.
I'm sorry for asking.
I'm sorry for caring.
I'm sorry for worrying,
I'm sorry for saying.

Yeah.

I officially hate my face.
I hate when people stare.
I hate when people give that weird faces.
I hate when people look at me like a display.
I hate when people don't respect me.

I wanna dig their eyes out,
I wanna ask them to fark off.
I wanna kick them in the face.

I shouldn't be like this.
Bye.