Urgh.. I need inspiration.



I need to improve on my photography skills.



I wouldn't say I'm a bad photographer but I just think I can do better. I want to be better. It's like it's just not good enough. Something is just missing.


I guess I need to be a lot more creative? I feel like it's so normal.

Yea, That's the word. Creative.

But I wouldn't force myself just gotta upgrade on my skills.


Just see where my weird mind and thinking will bring me. Ha.

Hmm.. Something struck me today.

I always wanted to play the role Rachel Elizabeth Dare in Percy Jackson. Ya I know you'll be like "HA! you gotta be kidding me." "Impossible blah blah blah.." But I'm serious and I believe I have the chance.
Anyway, Even before I read the book. I went to Wikipedia to check it out. I guess what caught me was the name? Because my name is Rachel? Ya partly. When I bought the book, read it. I love her. She doesn't hide much, she say what she wants, but she always avoids about her family topic. She brave and strong in her own way. She has a energetic and cute personality. I think it's a interesting role to play. But the problem is I don't have green eyes and I'm not a red-headed. Hmm.. Make up? Contacts? Hmm..

I was also interested in Thalia grace. She's cool girl. haha.. Well, I do have black hair. My hair isn't that long, I don't mind cutting it for the role.

What struck me was.. Why not give Thalia a try? I mean, if this pass it will just pass. If you can't make it at least you can still give Rachel a try. Maybe you will get the role Thalia and not Rachel. At least you never lose that chance. If I just wait for Rachel audition maybe I might not pass and I get nothing. I wouldn't mind getting either one. Though Rachel would be my first choice.. tehee..

I have been trying to find the audition but it seems so impossible. Everybody has their own answer which made me puzzled.

I guess I just gotta keep praying and hope.. :)
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Today was great. teacher switch my seat, I'm sitting next to my friend which was a good thing. Now we can discuss our homework or anything that we don't understand in class. :D But I'm reading Percy Jackson the last Olympians again haha.. It's so tempting I just wanna keep reading it non stop. Which made my friend jokingly say " I'm gonna burn that book if you don't put it away" haha.. Can't help it! >< She's gets bored in class and hoping that I would chat with her, but the book is really making shut my mouth haha.. I love it! XD

I started making my dream board. All the things I want. I guess when you make a goal you will be more motivated in it. :)
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Ah.. Friday got some shooting for the school magazine. I don't think it's the front cover but it's okay. I don't really want it to be at the front cover anyway haha.. So there 5 of us going to take our photo. :)

Teacher selected me to go for some computer wallpaper contest which I don't even know everything on how to do it.. >< But I'll just give it a try :)

Can't wait for Saturday. When we're going to paint our classroom! :D With my design. :D :D Well, It was second best. The first one they didn't have faith that it would work out.. :( haha..
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Having computer class now.. Having this miserable flu that is making me really sick..Breathing in cold air and breathing out hot air . Not to mention ear block, that is affecting me..

Finally exams are over and I'm very elated about that ha.. Well,Planning on watching some Japanese movie with Shan tonight She calls it erika's movie cause the actress looks like her. Probably because of the hair.And I can't wait to watch "My one and only" today. Hopefully there will be time for that tehee.. I'm really crazy over him. So wrong. I don't even know him. But hey, he's a good actor ha.. Can't wait for holiday.. ha..

Going to regin's house to stay for five days. Pretty long. That's a good thing. But well, I'm going to miss the food in Penang and the beach, but I don't think they're going to the beach though. But it's okay I guess. We started planning on what we're going to do. So, pretty awesome I must say hehe.. Maybe record our song. Need lots of practice though.. Later going to switch our class again.. Going up to the fourth floor.. Urgh.. So tiring, like I'm not weak enough.. Ha.. So much for saying how strong I am. Lol.. That's how I got my flu. By driking a sick man's tea. Hey it's not that disgusting. It's just my dad ha. He warned me that he's sick. I just took the risk and him told I'm strong enough. "Strong" Haha..

I'm reading "Battle of the labyrinth" the fourth book of Percy Jackson again. Additive? Y.E.S. and also to kill my boredom in class. I regret not bringing it to computer class. It would be perfect. Going to another world of Greek God's and half bloods adventure. Sounds like some children's story book to be honest. But hey, you haven't read it, that's why. I really hope they're going to make the second movie.
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Back home. And it's a Saturday already. Yes. I did watch "My one and only" yesterday haha.. It seems a lot nicer after watching it the second time. Anyway, Yup yesterday was exhausting, because was playing basketball.. But it was fun..

Today, I don't know. Bored and fun at the same time? Hmm.. haha..

I'm still having "fever" LOL.. No kidding. It's very serious. I'm shocked myself haha.. I don't think I'm going to heal that fast, or maybe I will never will! But it's okay, I like it this way. Haha.. At least he's makes my day. Makes me smile and ready to face everyday. I'm laughing and smiling everyday for no reason. Guess it's because of him. What? Ha..
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Time to post my blog post haha.. Don't know why did I save it in my draft @@ anyway yup.. Anyway just really happy that they're continuing the sequel of PJO :D!

I bought a novel called Linger. It's the second book. The first one is called Shiver. For some reason it just caught my eye. Once you read it, you wouldn't stop. It was written in a form where you would be in another world. Their world. Everything around you just seems to be invincible. the noise around you seems to gone down. It's like time just stops.

Sam is the main guy in the story, but the more I read I tend to like Cole better. Something about his character seems attractive ha. But oh well, it's just a story of people who doesn't exist. The way he was describe, his face, just seem too perfect to imagine ha.. Grace is the main character, I can't really link to her the way I could link to Isabel. As in when she describe her feeling, I could imagine it but not feel it, for Isabel I could. It's like I could feel it. My eyebrows would go closer together, so am I to my book, when I read I wouldn't notice till I was back to reality.. It's pretty interesting.. Ha..

After reading they way the describe. The way they say about their thoughts, I seem to start making words in my head. Which felt more like lyrics. Ha. I tend to talk to myself through my thoughts. Seems Kinda insane? But hey at least I'm saying it out loud. Ha..

School reopen this week. It's my 4th day, since my holiday. It sort of rhymes ha.

Chinese New Year was pretty awesome. I wore a dress. Ha. Yes a dress. NO kidding. Just to let you confirm. I'll say it again. I wore a dress for CNY this year. Ha. I kinda regretted it because I spent more cash than I should. And I'm studying accounts. Wow. How smart can I get? Ha. and I dint have any extra for new year shoe. Ish. Thank god CNY is held in my house haha.. Over all it was fun and enjoyable. And we had crab for supper! *Gasps* Awesome. awesome. I love crab. Ha. Like I was saying.. we ate Indian food on our first day of CNY kinda weird though haha.. And this year 2011 we celebrate with our new member in our family. Della. She's so adorable. I just wanna pinch her face so badly haha.. She's a beauty.

Time seems to pass so fast that week, didn't like that fact. Ha.

On Saturday, I washed my school shoe. Ya I'm serious. Ha. It's like a big miracle! ha.. But I still don't like it, it's white. white. Ish. Ha.. On that same day, I went to Uriah's house for CNY party, one word to describe- Awkward. Well, meeting Uriah and Melvin wasn't as awkward than meeting praveen. I guess because it's been 4, 5 years since we met? Ha. At the dinner table was even weirder haha. Well, I perform one song for them. Sugar town. My voice was bad. *sobs* shocking that I actually have the guts to sing it haha..



Today.
Thursday.
I can't wait for saturday.
Can time get any faster?
It feels like it's going to be awesome.

I don't know why but I just feel attach to you no matter what. I really miss you. It sounds kinda sick but true. I never like you in that way. But I always have this protective feeling over you. But I know everything is in the past now. Yet I keep wishing that I can get everything back.

I don't know why but the things you do for me seems to always come into my head. All the things we chat. All the stupid silly conversation. Come to think about it, it's really funny that I actually went crazy with you and be stupid. Ha. But I know I can't get it back anymore. Now all it's left is a beautiful yet painful memories.

Will I get over it? I have no idea. I'm scared. I don't know what you think of me right now. Sometimes I wish you would tell me but I guess it's impossible? Whenever my stomach feels unwell, it always reminds me about you, about what you did for me. I don't think anyone would do that for me now. Right now I just gotta wait till that weird unwell feeling to fade. I delete all the message not only yours but everyones'. Because I have to sell my phone. But even though it's gone, I still remember it clearly in my head.

I don't know why I treat you so different from others. At the start I did that because I was afraid to hurt you, but as time pass I got used to you and treated you the way I feel like but not because of any other things. Sometimes I think to myself what the heck am I doing? But I never stop what I was doing, till I start to realize I shouldn't. I'm just too selfish. That's why I told you everything. I know for sure I did hurt you though you say it's okay and put a smiley. Whenever I see that smiley I tend to think of you, I guess because you're the one who always puts that type.

After everything I said, you gave me a message that really made me regret what I did. But I know what I did was right. At that moment it was like a cut in my heart but right now all it's left is a scar. But yet it's like you still have a place in my heart. Whenever I know about your news and stuff, I tend to feel jealous and protective, but I can't do anything. Because it's your choice and at the start it was my choice to drew a line. So I guess right now I won't be able to get back all the things we had but what's the point getting it back when it would be a cycle again? So I guess everything will have it's ending. And there is no happy ending bacause This is reality.

Randomly putting pictures..

Okay I gotta admit it's been awhile since a last blog. But feels like way too long. Felt like some post are missing. Just realize I never blog since Dec. It's like way too long hahaha.. Well, I was busy since 1st of Dec. Because went for filming. :D :D tehee.. Very glad about it. Though it's just a very small role. But I have learn new things not only just about the acting things. ;) so anyway,

Always dream and wondered how acting would be like. Well, last year I have experience it. It was tired. haha. exhausting, especially the waiting time. haha.. Well, I didn't just learn and know about how filming things are. But others too.
Since now I know how acting are, my dad told me now you know how acting is huh? tiring eh? Yup I gotta agree to that, but I don't mind going for others guess cause the interest is there? yup partly.

This year. New start. Everything new. Of course keep the good ones and make it even better. Ha.
2011. Class S1C3. No.22. Ha. Sitting beside limin. Thank God for her, I don't feel so bored any more. Awesomeness. Haha. We would just laugh non stop. It made my day in class more interesting not so bored anymore. Never know maybe by end of this year I would slim down after all the laughing haha. Finger cross!

Speechless suddenly. Mind blank. Ha. Don't really have the mood to write. But this post I kept saving and keeping it in the draft. I wanna make sure I post it today.

Well, just hope this year would be a good awesome year. Change. I will make it happen.